Beginnings

It's interesting the things you find when you're looking for something else. After combing through my email, I found a little drabble from 2007. Five years. It still amazes me how different I sound, when I write with an intent in mind or let my fingers take over and type whatever comes to mind. So in the vein of beginnings: the beginning of a new semester, the beginning of my second year of medical school and the beginning of a time of more prolific writing/musing, here's a story of beginning.

Beginning to Live

Taking a breath, Ieni let herself fall forward. The air rushed past her face and she opened her eyes, only to close them once more before she hit the water. It was dangerous to go diving off of the bluffs but Ieni had been doing so for years. At first, it had been a dare, a challenge she had to meet from the others her age. But later, it became her salvation, the one thing to calm her mind when nothing else worked. The sensation of falling kept her from thinking, allowing her to focus her energy on her entrance into the sea. Kicking her legs, Ieni made her way to the surface and breathed in, smiling sadly when she saw the lingering rays of the sun vanish behind the oncoming dusk.

It was time to return, but after running for so long, Ieni wondered if it would be worth the effort. But she had promised to return after a season, and with the setting of the sun, a new cycle was beginning. Soon, the cold would set in and she would no longer be able to stay close to the beach. Swimming back to shore, Ieni reluctantly left the still warm water. She glanced behind her shoulder at the myriad of colors streaking the sky and hoped she would be able to swim without
regrets again. The village elders had only allowed her to live on her own with the condition that she not leave without saying good-bye. It was a strange request, but after the tradition of her family, it was the only promise which would make her return to the village. Every member of her family had left without telling anyone, slipping away silently during the night, never to return.

As Ieni gathered up her clothes and the meager belongings she had taken away with her, she sighed, looking towards the path with trepidation. It wasn't so much the loss of the ocean and her freedom so much as the return to the village which bothered her. She would be expected to marry, to act the dutiful wife and daughter, but all she wanted was to swim, to dive and feel the water caress her skin.

Stepping under the trees, Ieni paused, looking before her at the shadows. There would be no moon this night to light her way and guide her. The sky was dark, covered with clouds to mirror her feelings.

Closing her eyes, Ieni let her feet move her, knowing the path even without sight. It was second nature, something that never really left even after a summer away. The voice of Elder Shi spoke to her as she walked, getting ever closer to the circle of lights which marked the outskirts of the village. "Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." The ocean would never leave; it would always be a walk away. She would not abandon her village as had her mother before her. She would stay, and watch. Perhaps, Ieni was beginning to live again.