Asian is as Asian does

Nothing says a summery Saturday night like endocrine physiology, a fried brain and knowing that the blood pumping through your veins is slowly freezing into an icy sludge due to the blasting A/C of the school's lecture hall.

But the highlight of this summer night lies within a handful of mint, a walk through the dark and sitting alone on the couch with the page open to glucocorticoid hormones and their effects on carbohydrate metabolism - something that will come in handy after this meal.

It's a little labor intensive but totally and completely worthy every second, every minute, and sadly, every hour of work.

First off, something to warm up my blood and make it a true Caribbean weekend night.

Ginger Mojito
*ok... it was supposed to be a strawberry ginger mojito, but I didn't get a chance to go by the store and buy a carton of strawberries

2 oz. light rum (or 4 tbs, if you have measuring spoons like me and no shot glass)
1 oz. ginger simple syrup (recipe to follow)
Handful of mint leaves
1/2 a lime
1/2 cup club soda

In a tall glass, combine mint, half a lime cut into slices and simple syrup. Taking a wooden spoon, muddle the ingredients together. This will bring out the essential oils in the mint and help all of the flavors begin to combine. Add rum and top off the glass with club soda. Add more simple syrup to taste if you like it sweet like me. =) Garnish with a lime wedge, toss in a bendy straw and have a happy night!Ginger Simple Syrup
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup water
~3 inch piece of peeled ginger root

In a small pot, combine sugar and water. Peeling the ginger root, slice into 1/4 cm pieces and add to the pot. Heat until the sugar has dissolved and let simmer for 5 minutes. Turning off the heat, let the ginger steep for ~10 minutes before removing and pouring the simple syrup into a resealable container.

Vietnamese Spring Rolls
6 - 50g. packages of Lungkow mung bean vermicelli noodles
40 - 50 size 31-35 frozen headless, de-veined shrimp
8 - 10 leaves of lettuce
3 carrots
2 cucumbers
1 package of 3 Ladies Spring Roll Wrappers
2 large chicken breasts
1 bunch of cilantro
fresh basil/mint
2 cups mung bean sprouts

Preparation
1) Filling a pot with water, heat until a rolling boil is achieved and cook vermicelli noodles according to package, ~3-5 minutes. Drain and rinse in cold water. Set aside in a large bowl.2) Wash lettuce. (I used romaine lettuce) Tear into about 3-4 inch long pieces.3) Wash and peel carrots. Julienne into pieces about 3-4 inches long.
4) Wash, peel and de-seed cucumbers. Julienne.
5) Wash and chop cilantro. (I used both stems and leaves, discarding the bottom portion of the stem that was woodier.)
6) Wash fresh herbs. (I used basil)7) Poach or grill the chicken breasts, seasoning with salt/pepper to taste. (I tossed them in a pot of water with some garlic salt.) Let cool and shred into bite-size pieces.8) Poach shrimp until they're pink and cooked through. Drain. Let cool for a bit before shelling them and splitting them in half.9) Wash mung bean sprouts, take off the both ends, leaving the center stalk.Rolling the Spring Rolls
Gather all of the ingredients together in one space. Set out a plate larger than the diameter of the spring roll wrapper for assembly. Taking a large mouthed pot or aluminum bowl, fill with warm water. Not boiling because otherwise the wrappers will get soft too quickly and stick together into a giant mess.

This next part is where it gets a little tricky to explain. Taking one of the wrappers, wet it completely in the warm water. You'll figure out if the water is too hot when the wrapper gets soft too quickly and sticks to your hands in a giant web. Just add cold water if that happens. Continuing on... When you've moistened the wrapper, place it on the plate. Arrange 3 shrimp halves on the X as in the next picture, approx. the top 1/3 of the wrapper, leaving room at the top to fold the wrapper over. Layer herbs, vermicelli, carrots etc. on top. Be careful of overstuffing the rolls. If it's too much filling, it's harder to roll. Makes for a great snack for the cook though. I call those my discards and eat them as I prepare another wrapper. ;)

Anyway, taking the top, fold it over the filling. Taking the sides, fold those over. Pressing down lightly but firmly to prevent the filling from squishing out, continue rolling. Hopefully the ghetto paint picture coming up will be of more assistance in explaining. It takes a few funky looking rolls to get the hang of it if you've never used the rice paper wrappers before, but if you've made a burrito, you have the basic concept.Just keep repeating the process until you a) run out of wrappers or b) run out of ingredients and are too lazy to make more. =P I get about 35-40 per package of wrappers since they're sold by weight not number.For a dipping sauce, I just threw together a few things in my fridge since I haven't seen hoisin sauce on the island in a long time.

Dipping Sauce
4 tbs fish sauce
2 tbs soy sauce
1 tsp sugar
1 tbs olive oil
1 tbs chili garlic sauce
1 tsp red pepper flakesCombine everything in a small bowl and dip away! I also added a dash of habenero lime hot sauce I had in my fridge since I like it spicy. If you want this to be gluten free like the rest of the meal, use a gluten-free soy sauce and make sure that the fish sauce you purchased is also gluten-free (which it should be if it were made properly).

See, saturday nights alone can be quite yummy. ^_^

C's here, C's there, C's everywhere

And so I continue with using the letter "C," alliterating when I shouldn't. But the cookie craze has discontinued, leading into a coup by chicken curry.

It's been on my mind for quite some time to grab some panko crumbs and make chicken katsu. I even contemplated tonkatsu when I had 5 lbs of pork chops in my freezer, granted that was made into Regency sunday dinner instead. Finally, I bought a canister of panko crumbs, eggs always reside in my fridge as does flour and I pulled out 3 large boneless, skinless chicken breasts in a fit of allergy-induced sickness.

Mind you, I'm not often brought down by allergic reactions minus that induced by those evil little blood-sucking fiends that carry dengue but this flowering peacock apparently has much to answer for.

In any case, I still had some Japanese curry leftover that I made earlier so what better to go over rice than some pan-fried chicken katsu reminiscent of eating lunch at Kitaro's in San Francisco right before going to the Main Library downtown across from City Hall for a few hours of knitting.
Chicken Katsu

3 chicken breasts, 1/2 inch thick
1/4 cup flour
1 egg, beaten
salt/pepper to taste
1 cup panko crumbs
oil

Taking the chicken breasts, pound each one to 1/2 inch thickness. This will allow the chicken to cook quickly and evenly in the pan, making for a fast dinner option that looks like it took a long time to prepare. Place the flour on a plate or shallow dish. Beat the egg and place in a bowl or shallow dish. Spread the panko crumbs into a third dish.

Season the chicken as desired before dredging in a coat of flour. Tap off the excess before dipping into the beaten egg. When the chicken is coated, allow excess egg to drip off and coat in breadcrumbs, pressing lightly to coat. Repeat for all the pieces of chicken.In a pan, heat a few tablespoons of oil, coating the bottom of the pan. When hot, add the breaded chicken, cooking for 5-10 mins on each side until cooked through and lightly golden brown. With the oven turned to 200 degrees, store fried chicken on a baking pan as you cook each piece so it stays warm until ready to serve.

Slice into strips and place over rice with homemade curry or a favorite sauce. =D

Cookie Monster Cravings

The more I stay up late, the more I feel a need to bake cookies. Not to eat them, only to make them. I suppose that means I'm more a cookie craver than a cookie monster. Sorry for disappointing you, my dear blue furred cookie loving monster. =(

But I think he would be proud. Not only did I use up ingredients that I had in my fridge but the resulting confection was soft and chewy, perfect on its own or with a glass of cold milk in the middle night. So if you're in the Caribbean, have some coconut on hand, haven't quite gotten to the point of rum and don't have any lime, here's a tasty suggestion.

Chewy Coconut Almond Cookies

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp almond extract
1 egg
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
2-2 1/2 cups shredded/flaked coconut, sweetened

Cream together the butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Add the egg and almond extract (I ran out of vanilla so I used almond, but either is acceptable and yummy) and mix until combined. In a small bowl, combine the flour, baking soda and salt, sifting the ingredients together before adding to the butter/egg mixture. Stir until mostly combined before adding the coconut. The batter will seem a little dry at first but keep mixing until you get a butterscotch colored cookie dough that smells of coconut and almond.
Preheating the oven to 350 degrees, line a pan with foil or parchment. Form teaspoon sized mounds of batter on the pan; they will spread so have them about 2 inches apart. Bake for 8-10 minutes at 350 (I baked them for 8 min). When you take them out, they'll still be very soft. Let them sit untouched for 5-10 minutes to cool and get a little harder before transferring to a plate.

Craving Cookies, Chocolate and a Comfort Book

Cravings in the middle of the night aren't always the best idea... or are they? When cravings include chocolate, the need for baking cookies and reading a comfort book, the soothing power of a soft warm baked good spreads from morning to night, especially when paired with a mug of coffee in the early morning hours following a night of little sleep and too much endocrine physio.

So, searching for a slightly healthy cookie but with all of the trappings of an unhealthy treat, here's a cocoa colored cookie to fulfill those late night cravings.

Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies

1 stick (1/2 cup) butter
1/4 cup oil
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder
4 cups old-fashioned oats
1/2 tsp salt
1 egg
1/4 cup water

In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugars. When combined, add vanilla, the egg, oil (I actually left out the oil, adding perhaps a tablespoon after mixing the wet/dry ingredients together) and water, stirring until incorporated. In a separate bowl, sift together, the flour, baking soda, salt, and cocoa powder. Add the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients. When mostly combined, add the oats and mix until no large clumps of flour and oats remain.

Preheating the oven to 350 degrees, line and oil a sheet pan. Form tablespoons of cookie dough on the sheet pan, pressing down lightly if you want thinner cookies. Bake for 15 mins at 350 or until done. Makes about 30 cookies.

*Yes, I realize there is no picture this time. =( If they're not gone by the afternoon, perhaps there shall be one. ^_^

Planning

Sticking to a plan can be hard, coming up with a schedule and following it, going through with the motions without getting distracted. It's no wonder that posts just pop up without any order because I'll start a post and then finish it later but it publishes as the day I started it.

Anyway, I'm already off track again. For all the new incoming students to AUC September incoming c/o 2011, Congrats! And here are a few things that students and admin have compiled over the semesters to make transitioning to the island as easy as possible. =)

Directions to the Sint Maarten Emergency Center
Unofficial AUC Checklist
Top 10 Places to Eat and Things to Do
Shanique's Guide to Staying Safe
Settling in at AUC (updated)
Pet Travel to SXM
Map of Surrounding Apts (1 of 3)
Map of AUC (2 of 3)
Map of Key Places (3 of 3)
Cruising Your Way onto Sint Maarten
Checklist for Buying a Car

Increased Estrogen Increased HDL Decreases LDL

While having higher levels of estrogen during my premenopausal years is all well and good, during pre-block weekend and dealing with the evil that is Skype 5.0, when I weigh the pros of having increased HDL, decreased LDL and a decreased predisposition towards atherosclerosis, I would rather have less hormones surging through my blood stream. Is it so much to ask that skype acknowledge the fact that my camera works fine? That my video renderer is perfectly fine and that they need to get with the program?

I'm on a tropical island. I've been studying for weeks. There are probably 1000+ slides that I need to know by Monday morning and all I asked for was half of hour to see my family. But no, clearly only they need to see my distraught face as I huddle in a jacket because of the subzero temperatures inflicted by the uncontrollable A/C unit in each and every room of this building.

So, skype, fix your bug and let me see my family. Because right now, I would give up the added bonus of being a female with increased estrogen and the benefits it provides in saving me from having plaques in my blood vessels for a minute of video feed from my parents. And coming from a hormonally imbalanced medical student, that plea is the best you'll ever get.

Thick, Creamy Green Discharge

Dear GEBE, thank you for the wonderful opportunity to experience a loss of power greater than an hour's time span when it's not even true hurricane season. Yes, I know that it officially started on June 1st, but truthfully, we all know that the big storms won't be hitting for a few months.

But I suppose you're good for something. I was finally persuaded to make enough food to last a few days. What with it being block week and experiencing a ridiculous lack of sleep, it's a wonder that I even had the brain space to contemplate cooking. But somehow, it all worked out.

So in the tradition of this block and comparing disease symptoms and signs to food, imagine how the thick creamy green discharge of Gonorrheae relates to a creamy pesto sauce.
Mushroom Spinach Pasta with Pesto Cream Sauce

1 lb of any pasta (penne, macaroni, linguine etc)
1 cup of pesto (homemade or store bought)
1 cup of cream
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup parmesan
2 cups mushrooms, quartered
1 bag of baby spinach, washed
Salt/pepper to taste

Fill a pot with water to boil on the stove. Cook the pasta according to the directions until al dente.

In another pot or deep saucepan, heat a little oil and saute the mushrooms and spinach together until the mushrooms are mostly cooked and the spinach has wilted slightly. Add the milk and cream, stirring to combine. When the dairy has come to a boil, add the pesto and stir to combine, turning the heat down until you reach a slow simmer. When the pasta is done, drain it and add to the pesto mixture, tossing to combine. At this point, add the parmesan. It'll help bind things together. If the sauce seems a little thin, the cheese will help thicken it and the pasta will absorb some as it sits in the sauce for a bit before serving.
*Ready for lunch and lack of power!

O is for Oreo, and my Open mouth

It was a rainy Emancipation Day on the island. It was meant to be... stir-fried noodles, chocolate dipped everything, cream cheese and nachos in an amazing townhouse.

Have I set the scene yet? ^_^

Good. Now imagine... in a fit of controlled crushing, we turned a package of regular Oreos into fine pieces of chocolate crumbles. But it's not the end. The pièce de résistance was the addition of a block of softened cream cheese to tie the entire recipe together. It was no surprise that the first batch of Oreo truffles disappeared in the span of a day (maybe two...) and prompted the purchase of another bag.Why, you ask? Because they're good. Is there any other reason for buying chocolate cookies sandwiching sweet cream in between them?

So, a few days later, in another neurotic compulsion to do something with my hands, I filled a gallon sized ziploc with a 16 oz package of Oreos, half a dozen Ferrero Rocher chocolates and half a dozen Ferrero Rondnoir and proceeded to smash them into bits. I must say, it was quite a satisfying procedure. ^_^ But for those who require a bit more instruction, here's the recipe.

Oreo Truffles
1 - 16.6 oz package of Oreos (regular, mint, fudgies, chocolate, whichever you like)
1 - 8 oz block of cream cheese
a dash of vanilla, mint, almond extract - whatever flavor you like
(If you were feeling a little overwhelmed with the amount of chocolate you have stashed away, like yours truly, a handful of Ferrero Rochers crush up wonderfully)
1 - 12 oz bag of chocolate chips (milk, semi-sweet, dark, white, or any combination)

So taking the entire bag of Oreos, empty the cookies into a gallon sized Ziploc bag and close it. This is your opportunity to work out a bit of that stress you feel. If you're adding in chocolate candies, this is the time to add them in (the hazelnuts in the centers crush up just as easily). If you have more technology at your fingertips, feel free to pulse them into oblivion using your handy-dandy food processor.

Transfer the cookie crumbles into a large bowl and add the block of softened cream cheese. Now taking a fork, your bare hands, (a potato masher works amazingly!) combine everything together. Don't forget to sneak a taste. ^_^ When everything is incorporated, add the extract of your choice if you have it on hand and mix.To form the truffles, take a small ice cream scoop or a tablespoon measure and make a mounding ball, dropping the finished truffle onto a parchment or foil lined sheet pan. Repeat until all of the mixture is used up. Place in the fridge to cool and harden while you melt the chocolate in the microwave or double boiler. The freezer is a quickie way to get the truffles cool and hard enough to dip without falling apart into the melted chocolate. Granted, it just means more for the baker. ;)

Taking the truffles, dip them one by one into the chocolate, coating them completely before returning them to the sheet pan. When all of them have been coated, return to the fridge or freezer until the chocolate has set up again. Then... munch!The hard chocolate coating compliments the soft, melt in your mouth texture of the truffle. Now, I'm a purist and have made chocolate truffles from scratch but there's a time and place for everything and these Oreo truffles balls are perfect for rainy days, mocha colored puppies and good times with friends on a tropical island.

Sex in the City, on the Beach... in a Lecture Hall

I'll be the first to admit that I have issues when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). After all, how many people do you know would tell their friends that they want a 20" std? That they would love to hug HIV and sleep with syphilis?

Seeing as how block 3 of med micro involves the joy of venereal diseases and the cold brought upon us by the howling winds and rain of tropical storms, I felt it was only fair to treat you all to a few more stories of the microbes which serve as our closest companions, whether in the air, the soil, our body or our friends, both human and animal alike.

If you love food, this may not be the best of posts to read. But if you find giant microbes as soft and cuddly as I do, continue on. =D

~*~*~

Staphylococcus saprophyticus

Staph is positive for everything. Gram + cocci, catalase + but coagulase –

If you’re positive you’re going to marry the man of your dreams on a cloudy day with the smell of the sea nearby, make it a tender moment on your honeymoon with few guests

If you're positive (gram + cocci)you're going to marry the man of your dreams on a cloudy (cloudy urine) day with the smell (malodorous urine) of the sea (sea --> water --> dysuria, increase frequency/urgency) nearby, make it a tender (tenderness of supra-pubic area) moment on your honeymoon (honeymoon syndrome - acute urethral syndrome) with few (fewer bacteria needed for infection compared to cystitis) guests.

Uropathogenic Escherichia coli

MacConkey loves drinking bad milk when he’s short of breath but needs to pee a lot insistently.

Mac Conkey (MacConkey agar) loves drinking bad (gram - rod) milk (lactose fermentor) when he's short of breath (oxidase negative) but needs to pee (Pee --> P fimbrae --> pyelonephritis --> kidneyspee) a lot in-cyst-antly (insistently --> incystently --> cystitis)

Proteus spp

Proteus is prone to negative influences from his swarms of lactose-intolerant friends. Hunting for stags in stony places could put him in a coffin with no oxygen.

Proteus is prone to negative (gram - rod) influences from his swarms (swarmer) of lactose-intolerant (lactose non-fermentor) friends. Hunting for stags (staghorn calculus) in stony (struvite stones - kidney stones - magnesium ammonium phosphate) places could put him in a coffin (coffin lid crystals) with no oxygen (oxidase negative).

Pseudomonas aeruginosa

Bad lactose-intolerant devils need to breath and PPEE in the soil when their kidneys are infected.

Bad (gram neg rods) lactose-intolerant (lactose non-ferm) devils need to breath (oxidase pos) and PPEE (pee --> PPEE --> PP - Pyocyanin/Pyochelin --> pro-inflam/ disrupt endothelial cell fxn; E - exotoxin A - inhib. protein synth via ADP ribosylation of EF2; E - exoensymes - phospholipase C, Rhamnolipid, leukocidins, proteases)) in the soil(soil/water reservoir) when their kidneys are infected (cystitis, pyelonephritis).

Enterococcus faecalis

DEF (Lancefield group D; E-Enterococcus; F - faecalis)

Good fae need a lot of salt in their diet to catalyze the production of bile and live.

Good (gram pos cocci) fae (Enterococcus faecalis) need a lot of salt (can survive in elevated salt) in their diet (diet --> GI tract) to catalyze (catalase neg) the production of bile (culture on ENT - bile esculin agar - hydrolysis of esculin/bile resistant) and live.

BK Virus

A lot of people who eat Burger King burgers naked with another person feel bloated; the feeling stays with them and gets worse when they’re stressed.

A lot of people (80% adults worldwide seropostivie) who eat Burger King (Burger King --> BK) burgers naked (non-enveloped) with another person (two ppl --> dsDNA) feel bloated (Ureteral stenosis --> water retention, reduced urine flow); the feeling stays (remains latent in lymphocytes, UGT, brain) with them and gets worse (reactivate --> BKAN --> BK assoc. nephropathy - renal disease) when they're stressed (decreased immune sys when stressed --> immunocompromised).

Neisseria gonorrhoeae

If you ever get hopped up on sugar, don’t get LOSt in New York City because you might meet Mr. Martin and his friend Neisseria who wants you inside of her more than she can breathe. She tells you “fix me” when she gets hurt badly, discharging CUPS of thick creamy green pus.

If you ever get hopped up on sugar (glucose user/fermentor), don't get LOSt (LOS - lipooligosaccharide) in New York City (NYC medium) because you might meet Mr. Martin (Thayer Martin Medium) and his friend Neisseria (Neisseria gonorrhoeae) who wants you inside (want inside --> facultative intracellular) of her more than she can breathe (oxidaise positive). She tells you "fix me" (cefixime - drug of choice for treatment - single dose/oral) when she gets hurt badly (gram negative cocci), discharging CUPS (C - cervicitis, U - urethritis, P - Pelvic inflammatory disease, S - salphingitis) of thick creamy green pus (i think it's a bit self explanatory if you see this with cutaneous lesions - run the other way).

Chlamydia trachomatis

Martin and Neisseria have a good friend, Mr. McCoy and his tiny daughter Chlamydia who needs you inside of her, no PUN intended, before her patience wears thin and her nerves fry.

Martin and Neisseria have a good friend, Mr. McCoy (McCoy cells/HeLa cells for culturing) and his tiny (very tiny bacteria) daughter Chlamydia (Chlamydia trachomatis), who needs you inside (obligate intracellular) (need you inside --> sex) of her, no PUN (P - PID; U - urethral syndrome/cervicitis in females; N - non-gonococcal urethritis in males) intended, before her patience wears thin (thin mucopurulent exudate) and her nerves fry (tissue becomes friable).

Ureaplasma/Mycoplasma spp.

HUGging small naked people magnanimously normally doesn’t turn you golden brown.

HUGging (H - Mycoplasma hominis - complications of pregnancy; U. urealyticum - 50% of NGU/NCU in males; G - M. genitalium - urethritis in males) small (small colony producing mycoplasma) naked (cell wall less) people magnanimously (manganous sulfate + urease rxn) normally (culture on A8 agar but oft seen in normal individuals) doesn't turn you golden brown (golden brown pigment from manganous sulface + urease).

Herpes Simplex Virus

Take your CUE from a straight laced friend and keep your clothes on when having sex with another person and stop the cycle.

Take your CUE (C - cervivitis; U - urethritis; E - external lesions) from a straight (linear) laced friend and keep your clothes on (enveloped) when having sex (sexually transmitted/contact with active lesions) with another person (dsDNA) and stop (shorten outbreak with treatment) the cycle (Acyclovir).

Trichomonas vaginalis

Keep things basic, don’t make it tricky because pros don’t insist that the metro is a good place to buy green strawberries from moving nomads frothing at the mouth.

Keep things basic (multiplies when vaginal conditions more basic than usual), don't make it tricky (trichomonas vaginalis) because pros (PROtozoan - fragellate) don't insist (insist --> cyst --> dont --> no cyst form) that the metro (metronidazole to treat) is a good place to buy green (greenish yellow discharge) strawberries (strawberry cervix) from moving (motile trichomonads) nomads (nomads --> monads) frothing (frothy greenish yellow discharge) at the mouth.

Candida albicans

Yeasty bread with cottage cheese naturally tastes good but if you’re sick, you’ll be itchy and red.

Yeasty (yeasty with pseudohyphae) bread with cottage cheese (cottage cheese discharge with vulvovaginitis) naturally (natural/normal flora in skin/mucous membranes) tastes good but if you're sick(immunocompromised at risk), you'll be itchy (itchy --> scratching of labia majora --> excoriations) and red(erythema on cervical mucosa surrounded by cottage cheese patches).

Gardnerella vaginalis

When Nugent goes fishing at high altitudes, he basically stays of the same mind but normally brings different clueless friends.

When Nugent (nugent score - score of 7/10 = bacterial vaginosis - assesses presence of large gram + lactobacili, small gram variable gardnerella, and curved gram variable mobiluncus) goes fishing (fishy odor with discharge) at high altitudes (high altitudes --> more CO2 --> aerobe whose growth is promoted by CO2), he basically (ph>4.5, so more basic) stays of the same (same --> homogenous discharge) mind (mind-->mine--> amine test postive) but normally (normal flora) brings different(gram variable and pleomorphic rod) clueless(clue cells present) friends.

Pelvic Inflammatory Disease

Don’t CAVE, U CAN beat Fitz-Hugh-Curtis at playing the violin.

Don't CAVE (Chronic form caused by A - anaerobes; V - vaginal flora; E - E. coli), U CAN (Acute forms caused by U - uroplasma/mycoplasma; C-Chlamydia trachomatis D-K; N-Neisseria gonorrhoeae) beat Fitz-Hugh-Curtis (Fitz-Huge-Curtis syndrome - extension of PID) at playing the violin (violin string adhesions between liver and parietal peritoneum)

Haemophilus ducreyi

LOSing a school of fish is bad especially when you get ragged on in a soft voice but it hurts more when a chain of events causes you to cry.

LOSing (LOS cell wall) a school of fish (school of fish pattern in gram stain) is bad (gram neg) especially when you get ragged (ragged ulcers on genitalia) on in a soft (soft chancres) voice but it hurts (painful ulcers/painful inguinal adenopathy) more when a chain (chain of coccobacilli --> school of fish) of events causes you to cry (to cry --> do cry --> ducreyi).

Chlamydia trachomatis (L1-L3)

Elle once knew that when she was small, she needed to stay inside so she wouldn’t get hurt. But as she grew, Elle too wanted to get involved.

Elle once (L1 - Chlamydia) knew that when she was small (very tiny bacteria), she needed to stay inside (obligate intracellulae - need to stay inside) so she wouldn't get hurt (not hurt --> painless ulceration - primary stage). But as she grew (grew --> elephantiasis of genitalia in late stage), Elle too (L2 - because Lymphogranuloma venereum is caused by L1-L3) wanted to get involved (anal sex --> perirectal/pelvic lymph node involvement).

Klebsiella granulomatis

Donovan liked eating rare steaks inside with his clothes on but his bad bipolar kleptomanic aunt ragged on him for doing it in the tropics.

Donovan (Donovan bodies - oval rod shaped org that appear inside infected tissue cells) liked eating rare steaks (velvety, beefy red appearance) inside (intracellulae) with his clothes on (encapsulated) but his bad (gram neg) bipolar (bipolar staining) kleptomanic (Klepto --> Klebsiella) aunt ragged (ragged ulcer) on him for doing it (sexual transmission) in the tropics (tropical/subtropical countries in setting of poverty/poor hygiene).

Treponema pallidum

Intrepid as usual, Syphilis stealthily spiraled into our hearts, going through several stages. First, painlessly invading when the chance rose and leaving spontaneously after 2 months. Secondly, from inside out, elegantly causing us to fall sick. Lastly, appearing to leave us gummed up and only thinking of it.

Intrepid (trepid --> treponema) as usual, Syphilis stealthily (stealth microbe) spiralled (spirochete) into our hearts (can cause cardiovascular syphilis), going through several stages (primary, second, tertiary, CV, neuro). First (Primary syphilis), painlessly (painless hard ulcer) invading (dissemination in lymph/blood) when the chance (chancre at site of invasion) arose and leaving spontaneously (spon. heal w/in 2 months) after 2 months. Secondly (secondary), from inside out (rash start on trunk to extremities), elegantly (elegant syphilis) causing us to fall sick (flu-like symptoms). Lastly (tertiary), appearing to leave us (goes latent) gummed (gummas - destructive granulomatous lesions) up and only thinking of it (in the CSF - not infectious unless have lesions).

Human Papilloma Virus

Coiling up with another person when you’re not wearing clothes guards against rubbing your soft skin.

Coiling (koilocytic cells; circular DNA) up with another person (dsDNA) when you're not wearing clothes(non-enveloped) guards (Guardasil) against rubbing (warts predom. at sites of friction) your soft (soft warts; not scaly) skin (cutaneous) in the cold(cryotherapy).

Genital warts - HPV 6/11

Cervical cancer - HPV 16/18

6+11 = 17 = (16+18)/2

common warts = HPV 2/7/27/9 [2, 7 --> 27 --> 2+7 = 9]

Black and White and everything inbetween

Like little yin-yang chocolate treats, these peanut butter crackers are made even more special when coated in two types of chocolate. Feel free to change it up any way you like, instead of peanut butter, use Nutella, or even both. Don't like white chocolate? Melt up some dark chocolate and sprinkle with a dash of sea salt for a sweet and salty treat.Ritz Cracker Sandwiches

1 sleeve of Ritz crackers (I used whole wheat Ritz because that's what I had on hand)
Creamy Peanut Butter
White and Semi-Sweet Chocolate to coat

Taking about a 1/2 tablespoon of peanut butter, spread it on a cracker and top with another. Continue until the entire sleeve of Ritz crackers is gone (minus the ones being munched on in the process of creating peanut butter cracker sandwiches).

Line a pan with foil or parchment paper. Melt chocolate in a double boiler or in a heatproof bowl on top of a pan with about an inch of simmering water. Dip one half of the sandwich in the white chocolate, set on the pan to set in the fridge for about 10 minutes. When the chocolate is set again, take them out and repeat with semi-sweet chocolate for the other uncoated half of the cracker sandwich. Place in the fridge again to finish setting (or if you're impatient like me, 5 minutes in the freezer should do the trick. ^_^)It should make about 16 sandwiches.... depending on how many Ritz you eat before they get peanut butter sandwiched between them... or if they've survived this ordeal... how many you eat before they get smothered in chocolate...